Did I Miss a Meeting on Fetishes at Some Point?
March 22, 2011 | ~2 mins read time.

It is possible that I take things too literally. I know I see a lot of things as black & white with zero chance of grey. People like to tack on irrelevancies disguised as padding to make themselves feel better about any given situation, but there is always an underlying simplicity to everything - it's not my problem if they can't admit it.

Now, that said, I have become increasingly annoyed with the term "fetish" being bandied about like it's some sort of replacement for "kink". I could have missed a meeting on this word, though. The dictionary, in terms of sexuality, describes a fetish as "an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression."

It is described, in terms of psychology as "paraphilias" which are, in turn, described as "Paraphilias all have in common distressing and repetitive sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors. These fantasies, urges, or behaviors must occur for a significant period of time and must interfere with either satisfactory sexual relations or everyday functioning if the diagnosis is to be made. There is also a sense of distress within these individuals. In other words, they typically recognize the symptoms as negatively impacting their life but feel as if they are unable to control them."

Basically, if you have a fetish, in terms of the sexual, you have a problem reaching climax without that thing present (whatever it is). That is to say, if you enjoy how a nice pair of heels can look on a woman's feet and may become sexually aroused by it you have a shoe and/or foot kink. If, conversely, you REQUIRE the same image in order to climax, you have a shoe and/or foot fetish.

If kink and fetish have become interchangeable, I would like it very much if the dictionary would reflect it. Then again, I suppose this could be similar to my arguments with self-professed dominants who don't understand that dominance and sadism are not mutually exclusive. Or that you can be a sadist without the penchant to incorporate it in sex. Maybe they really aren't interchangeable (like I would prefer), and this is just yet another reflection of just how ignorant society has become on a whole.